In The Beginning....

Greetings happy bloggers!  My name is Ida and as part of my weight-loss, healthier life, lifestyle change, wellness, more energy, journey to happiness, etc., etc., I've decided to start documenting my experiences and share my past experiences in the hopes of not only keeping myself accountable for my actions (like when I wanna eat a whole pizza at 10:30 on a Tuesday night after having a crap-tastic day at work), but also helping others with their own journeys, and maybe making you laugh along the way. 

So why read this blog?  Well for starters, I'm not some fitness model who's never weighed more than 120 lbs. offering you some unrealistic weight loss or exercise advice.  I'm a real person who loves pizza and chocolate, with a full time job (that stresses me the hell out a lot of the time), a family, pets, and a little bit of a life.  I've struggled with weight my whole life...literally.  I was raised in a home where "vegetable" was an uncommon and at times a bad word, where bologna was a staple, and where plopping down in front of the TV everyday after school with a sugary, fatty snack was the norm.  Exercise was the enemy because I was so embarrassed of how I looked while trying to ride a bike, go for a jog, and God forbid I put on a bathing suit and do some laps at the pool.  So let me give you some background on this roller coaster of a journey I've been on....

My weight was always in the back of my mind, even as a child and throughout my teenage years, even into college, which is when I first tried to make a change for the better.  During my sophomore year of my undergraduate degree, ephedrine was the latest and greatest diet fad and I saw it working miraculously well for my classmates on a daily basis.  So after class one day I went to my nearest supplement store and bought some. 

Well it definitely worked for a while.  At that point in my life I was 19 years old and weighed about 225 lbs. at 5'9".  Within about 6 weeks, I'd lost nearly 40 lbs. and had more energy than I'd ever had....because I was basically taking a form of legal speed every day, three times a day.  I drastically cut my caloric intake from around 2,000-3,000 calories a day to less than 1,000.  I actually started working out (probably the one healthy thing I did for myself at that time) and did about 30 minutes of cardio a day.  People started noticing right away and I was on cloud nine.  I'd never felt so confident or looked so thin in my whole life. 

After getting down to about 183 lbs. I was on top of the world.  One night I got a call from my sister while at an opera rehearsal (I'm a singer and most of my undergraduate evenings were spent in rehearsals).  My sis and I have always been close, especially after our dad died (more on that later and how I dealt with that loss...which includes lots of food!).  Ephedrine had been in the news a lot because of the nasty and at times life-threatening side effects, which is exactly why my sister called me.  When I answered the phone she was in tears, begging me to stop taking it because she'd seen on the local news that someone had died because of taking too much ephedrine (something heart related).  Knowing she was serious and very upset, I promised her I'd stop taking ephedrine and flushed the rest of my diet pills down the toilet.  Unfortunately my use of other, ephedrine-free diet pills was far from over.

Over the course of the next few years I tried every diet fad on the market, including more diet pills (ephedrine free because I keep my promises).  I was able to keep the weight off for a few years after trying diets like South Beach, Atkins, lemonade cleanses, etc.  But even though I kept the weight off at around 183 lbs., I could not, for the life of me, get past that plateau.  So I got desperate, and stupid, and resorted to drastic measures.

The first time I made myself throw up was during finals week at a Starbucks.  I was studying with one of my best friends and we were stressed out to the max.  The oatmeal raisin cookies looked extra delectable that evening, so I broke down and scarfed one, along with a sugary, calorie filled coffee beverage.  The thought of ALL those calories kept nagging me all through our study session and finally I excused myself to the bathroom so I could get rid of them.  I threw up most of it and felt relieved at getting all those extra calories out of my body.  So I reasoned with myself that if I binged and purged once in awhile I could indulge every now and then and actually eat a cookie or some pizza or whatever I wanted and just get rid of it shortly after. 

However, this cycle soon became my norm.  I'd eat something "bad" almost every day and throw it up after.  Soon the acid from throwing up started significantly irritating my throat, which made singing a challenge.  I decided in order to preserve my voice I'd purge a different way and started taking laxatives after my fatty indulgence for the day.  It didn't take long until I was up to 12 laxatives a day (seriously, it was insane) and I knew I was in trouble.  After months of this behavior, I finally told my friends and roommates what was going on and asked for their help and support in dealing with it.  I anxiously watched them flush all my diet pills and laxatives down the toilet.  I finally came clean with my voice teacher, who had been baffled at why my voice was so raw and ragged sounding.  I sought medical and psychological help and started on the road to recovery. 

Once my digestive system got back to normal, which took a couple years,  and I had managed to maintain my weight at around 190 lbs., I came to one of the toughest challenges of my life - coming out of the closet.  And how did I deal with all the emotional turmoil of this event?  Food.  And alcohol.  And lots of both.  Within two years I had gained back all the weight and then some, tipping the scale at 240+ lbs.  I stopped working out, I was severely depressed, and I was back at that place where every day was a mental, physical, and emotional struggle with my weight.  After going shopping at some after Christmas sales one day with my sister, and buying a size 18-20, I knew I had to make a change, but I was determined to do it the right way this time. 

Going back to the gym was awful at first.  I was ashamed of my body, I was embarrassed of how I looked working out in front of people, and I felt totally winded after just a few minutes on the eliptical or stationary bike.  But I stuck with it, only because after my workouts I felt good.  Really good.  I felt proud of myself for making it happen and for the first time in years I felt happy again.  Having a gym buddy, my sis, was also really helpful.  I started eating healthy and incorporating a lot more fruits and veggies in my diet and drinking herbalife shakes (which did work for me for a while, but not something I can do for the rest of my life).  I gave up alcohol for a while and started drinking tons of water every day.  I joined 2 weight loss challenges, one of which I won 2nd place in and actually won some cash.  Within a year a became a licensed Zumba instructor, a year after that I ran my first half marathon.  I'd lost weight, but more importantly I felt AMAZING.  And that, I've realized, is what really matters.

After losing close to 70 lbs., I'm at another crossroads in my journey.  I've been at another plateau for the past year or so, and instead of turning to an eating disorder or diet pills again, I've decided to start this blog.  A place where I'm accountable, where I can share recipes and ideas for healthy eating, discuss new work outs to shake up my and hopefully your routine,and get new ideas and tips from anyone reading this. 

Ok, that was lengthy, but I promise it will all tie into what I'll be discussing in the future.  Each week I'm going to discuss at least one challenge most, if not all of us, experience.  My challenge this week:  STRESS. 

The school year is almost over (I'm a teacher now) and the last couple weeks tend to be grueling.  So my challenge to myself, and anyone out there reading this, is to come up with new and HEALTHY strategies to deal with this stress....instead of binging out on a large nacho plate with a pitcher of beer.

First strategy:  working out.  Cliche, I know, but it really does help.  Believe me.  Even if it's just 15-20 minutes a day, I'm determined to do something to release some endorphins and feel mentally, physically, and emotionally better.  Yesterday I was exhausted, but I made myself go to my boot camp class, which I was very grateful for after.  I was sore, tired, and sweaty when I left, but mentally I was in a much better place than I had been after leaving work.  So my question to you is, what are some good, quick work outs we can do when time is limited and stress is running high?  

Second strategy:  a healthy breakfast.  I told my wife that all week this week I'm going to make us green smoothies for breakfast.  It's only Tuesday, but so far we've met this goal and we both feel pretty dang good all day.  Here's the recipe I've used the past couple days, per smoothie:

1 banana
1/2 cup strawberries
2 cups spinach
1 tbsp. peanut butter
1/2 cup almond milk
1 tbps. flaxseed
1 scoop protein powder (optional)
 Add more water and/or ice depending on how thick you like your smoothies.  I put all the ingredients in the blender the night before, stick the blender in the fridge, then blend it in the morning before work.  Looks like baby vomit, but tastes really yummy!  So far, so good!  

So that about wraps up this first post.  I'll be checking back in and discussing if I've met my goals for the week and continued to use the strategies I posted.  If there are any other strategies or challenges out there, please post and discuss!  I'm looking forward to reading, discussing, and achieving! 

<3 Ida